What's Your Rating ?

It was a Friday evening, the day when Levis, Lee, Pepe and other brands float around in full glory. Raj bhai and I were hanging in Infy food court. Suddenly Raj bhai said – “TS - 10’ o clock. Red top – black jeans. An 8 pointer coming your way”. Just as I was gonna testify that statement, Raj bhai interrupted – “TS don’t look!! Woh yahin dekh rahi hai!!!”And within a split second, we went into ‘Ornithologist mode’ – Raj pointing into the sky and telling me – ‘See I told you, sparrow has two wings :)’. “What a startling discovery!!” – I thought.

As the ‘twister’ (that makes certain things twist :) had changed its ‘optical path’ now – so my testimony came– “Naah yaar, she’s not an 8 pointer. I mean with those baggie jeans with stars and frills – definitely not. But her friend looks quite graceful to me”. Raj – “C’mon yaar – You mean that cross breed of Oprah and Tyrannosaurus Rex. Are you joking! Your rating system needs an up- gradation man– Come out of the ‘Greh-shobha Gharelu Ank” and walk into the ‘Cosmopolitan Era’.

As the debate was heating up – Aniket’s call came as fresh spray of deodorant. “TS, Are you busy now? I need to show you something. My folks have forwarded me a ‘PICTURE’”- he said. I asked – “Shaadi.com? Is it ?”. Aniket could barely control his excitement – “Ya man. The final ‘attachment’ of my life has come :). Come fast”

In about 57 seconds I was sitting besides Aniket. The picture was un-wrapping fold by fold from his mailbox. So – There she was. Aniket asked– “Kaisi hai yaar?” I replied – “Haan, achi hai”. Aniket said – “ Haan, Achi toh hai, but how would you rate her on scale of 10 man”. I was baffled – “What kind of sick person are you? You want me to put a value on your future wife – Do I look like Mama Shakuni to you?” Aniket – “C’mon TS – Its universal rule man – Guys financial position is important and girl’s rating. Why are you over-reacting?. Was I over-reacting? Really? – I imagined if the ‘table’ was turned around.

Scene: Dining table overloaded with dry-fruits and sweets enough for ’The Great Khali’s’ dessert for one whole month. And we have Aniket and family sitting on one side and the girl’s side on other side. Aniket folk’s say-“Ji Ladki, kitni padhi-likhi hai?”

An elderly person from the girl’s side replied – “Ji woh toh baad kii baat hai. Yeh bataiye ki - Ladke kii rating kya hai?”. Aniket ‘s eyes split wide and mouth open – seemed as he was bowled over by Muralidharan’s doosra. The elderly person continued - “Isme itni hairaani kii kaun si baat hai. Hamari ladki 9 pointer hai. We even have proof for it. Fair and Lovely comes with a meter now – Jao Beti – Fairness meter le aao. Damaad ji kii rating karni hai.”

As Aniket’s family stood up because of the humiliation – Enters a middle-aged chain smoker who is ‘teaching’ the country nowdays that – The non-fair part of the society belongs to hideous and non-attractive category. With a ciggie fag on his lips he says – “Aniket – Don’t worry. Take this Fair and Handsome. And it comes with a fairness meter too. Aur fir yeh Sattar minutes... oops Yeh Chaar hafte tumse koi nahi cheen sakta. Ragad daalo yeh cream – aur fir dekho tumhaari rating, tumse khuda bhi nahi maang sakta. !!!”. And the room is filled with silence.

[Samaaj mein faili ek aur kureeti ko mitaane ke liye ek choti si pehel. Because i feel that words like – “Inner beauty” have become synonyms to – “Mother Teressa” or “World Peace” – which are used only by beauty pageant contestants to win the outer beauty titles. So, next time before you judge a person – Look into your inner self and your inner soul – And then decide – WHAT IS ‘YOUR’ RATING?]