OMG !! She needs loving and caring !

From: AniketSrivastava.06xx@gmail.com

Subject: Kaisi hai tumhaari bhabhi?

1 Attachment (s): “Rating-8/10.jpg”

Message: “Check out her profile and let me know your take on it.” -Aniket.

This was the mail sent by Aniket to me. The attachment had the screen-shot of an orkut profile of a girl named Deepti Srivastava. Aniket had distinctly market her location with Red Oval (Four months of bench has made my friend the master of all sophisticated tools like – Paintbrush, Notepad and calculator :). As the matter had involved the usage of Paintbrush i knew Aniket was serious about her. So, as the investigation began – one line caught my attention & i replied to Aniket.

“Abort the mission and report to base. Roger that Soldier. We have got a broken arrow. I REPEAT – Extreme turbulence expected – Return to base NOW!!!”

Just one sec after i hit the “Send” button - “♫ .Tere bina zindagi se koi shikwaaaa toh nahiiiii .... ♫ – Oops my cell is ringing. Aniket was on the line – “Whats with this reply TS!!... Didnt u noticed -She is from Kanpur – so am I. She is also a ‘Kayastha’ Brahmin. She will be lucky to have me yaar!! “

“Kayashtha Brahmin - Is it? Really !! You are a ‘Kamina’ Brahmin!!! The person who can’t ‘go’ in the morning unless he sucks onto a cigarette butt. Who dips chicken pieces in whiskey before eating because you like ‘drunk-chicks’!! .And the paijaama-faad dance that you do when you achieve nirvana after drinking...” – My temper suddenly shot up.

Aniket - “TS plz rukk jaa yaar – Itni beizzati kaafi hai aaj ke liye. Tu toh dil pe le leta hai yaar. You know’ i love you’ man!!”

Aniket had used the “143 protocol” without being drunk. I could figure out he was getting senti.

“Acha problem kya hai yaar – woh bata tu mujhe?” – Asked Aniket

I replied - “Didn’t u noticed in her profile? Under Ideal match she has written “He should be loving and caring”

“Is there any problem with that?” – Asked Aniket

“Oh man!! You are a rookie – Let me explain it to you . Imagine – You are married to her. You are all ‘loving and caring’. Suddenly one fine (!!) day- You are in a shopping mall – You have got shopping bags in one hand. Pulling trolleys from the other hand. Little Teelu is hanging around your neck. And Teelu just had a ‘operation yellow storm’. :) You are fighting with the traumatizing winds of sulphur Teelu is creating. Meanwhile she is also in a big dilemma – she is not able to decide whether to buy ‘Recova’ or ‘Olay’ to cover her black goley(circles) :). Just then you notice- Teelu’s left shoe’s lace is open. You say – “Darling –Can u please look at Teelu’s shoe” . “Thud” ...”Thud”... (Noises of recova and Olay being hammered to the shelves)... As u see her approaching towards you – Teelu also lets his flood-gate open... And you are covered with nitrogenous nutrients now ...She shouts– “You couldn’t take care of one little thing. You are NOT that LOVING and CARING anymore!!!!” :)

[Pun and Sarcasm intended :) - Btw I m also looking out – And she should be loving and caring ;-)]